You Could Be Corinne Olympios’ Full-Time Assistant & Here’s How

Good news for those of you who are dissatisfied with your current employment: A job just opened up that will either be the best thing that ever happened to you, or a -On-Steroids-esque nightmare. Corinne Olympios is looking for an assistant. I’ll give you a second to take that in. Ms. Olympios (as I’m sure you’ll be required to call her) put out the call for personal assistants via Insta Story this morning, and said she is looking for an LA based assistant “with experience.”

Question: Does watching obsessive amounts of count as experience? If so, I’m very experienced.

Corinne (wearing the very professional Instagram dog filter) goes on to say that she is “looking at resumes today” but provides no info as to where to send said resumes. Consider finding Corinne’s email your first test.

Corinne ends her Story with one piece of advice for anyone who wants to join Team Corn, and it’s probably best if you take it seriously: 

I mean, that sounds about right. Remember how she casually dropped three grand on a single shopping trip with Nick? Somebody’s gotta go back and return that shit when she realizes she hates all of it. And sure, you’ll probably report directly to Raquel, but there are going to be a lot of non-cheese pasta related tasks that will be your responsibility. Someone’s gotta wake her up from her naps and re-schedule all of her appointments when she refuses to get up and sleeps through everything. Sounds like a dream, no pun intended.

BRB. Preemptively sending in my two weeks’ notice and relocating to Los Angeles now. 

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